Episode #32: Sorry, Not SorryI have to admit for someone who would probably be weak in the knees if I met her in person, I sure have a lot of problems with the pedestal that Beyonce puts herself on and an even bigger problem with the larger pedestal that her adoring public puts her on. With that said, I talk about her loss at the Grammys, how Moonlight was robbed of its moment by a distracted gentleman tweeting photos of Emma Stone at the Oscars, how the Academy doesn't want Denzel to be great, and why Eddie Murphy was robbed years before this. Then I discuss why I take Biggie over Pac and Sasha over Jenna. No fooling. I don't think Future's March Madness is all that great.
Episode #31: Podcasting 101Just like Reggie Miller admitted he pushed off of Michael Jordan in the 1998 Eastern Conference Finals, THE WORLD'S GREATEST PODCAST is full of uncalled fouls. Not really, but I do spend most of the episode detailing how I got into podcasting and the behind the scenes of the show. Then I talk a little sports before I give a verdict in the MJ v Prince argument. And I explain why this year's Royal Rumble was better than what most people thought. Outta nowhere like a RKO.
Episode #30: The QuestionsBernard King. Steph Curry. Nolan Ryan when he played for the Angels. Hyphen Nation, THE WORLD'S GREATEST PODCAST, has reached it’s 30th episode. As promised, welcome to the first ever Q&A show, where I answer all the questions. A lot of wrestling questions but still, all the questions. Question MVPs go to Marcus, Errick, and Mike. We'll do it again real soon, I had a lot of fun with this one.
Episode #29: I'm 'Bout To Fight SomebodyTruth time: I fell asleep at least three times while talking this episode. It was late, I didn't sleep well the night before… I'm sorry. I edited around it so it's not noticeable and y'all know how I feel about editing. It's still a great episode though of THE WORLD'S GREATEST PODCAST, so don't get it twisted. I jump right in and I don't stop until I give some words of wisdom about Donald being inaugurated. Free Westbrook. Ed Sheeran's new song is trash.
Episode #28: Wasn't 2016 Just A Few Minutes Ago?This episode started out in classic Hyphen Nation style: in the car, in a random parking lot in Morgantown. I shared stories of a heavy biscuit and then I tried to justify maybe possibly forgiving Kanye West for his outrageous comments… just like I forgave a certain Hulkster. BUT THEN, the episode fast forwards to 2017! In the new year, I talk about the maturity of 20 something me v 30 something me, how having a daughter has given me a gender bias I wasn’t even aware of, whether or not I’m hurting THE WORLD’S GREATEST PODCAST by sometimes going explicit, and I take a few minutes for Craig Sager. Hyphen Nation is the true champ that runs that camp.
Episode #27: I Do This In My SleepAs the fantasy football playoffs arrive, I renew my vow to take next season off. I don't care, I don't care. Then I make sure everyone knows how I hate all things involving the Golden State Warriors, even Steph. I don't care, I don't care. I take the time to explain how much the word "trash" means to me in my everyday life. For example: the Kansas City Chiefs are trash. I don't care, I don't care. My struggles with giving up fast food continue, mostly because I continue to eat fast food. I rewatched Home Alone 2 for the first time since childhood and I realize it too is trash. There's some Drake stuff, some why I'm a fan of certain college teams over WVU, and I had a run-in with a beer bottle top. I might have fallen asleep during that part. I don't care, I don't care.
Episode #26: There Is No Robert Downey Jr., Only ZuulAs December brings us to the merciful end of 2016, people everywhere are making efforts at playing nice for the holidays. But not me. Well, only in one segment. I spend way more time talking about why Tim Drake is the best Robin and Damien Wayne isn't. Well, I really didn't go in on Damien. Which then brings us to Dan Slott and why he needs to be relieved of his duties on Amazing Spider-Man asap. You know... I have a little fanfiction background; give me the job. I also spend some time debating between Man Of Steel/Spider-Man 1/Cap 1/Begins/IM 1. And I created the world's best pizza... partially inebriated.
Episode #25: Elphaba, Hillary, And Kristen Chenoweth Walk Into A Bar (Costarring Nikki Cannon)My third official guest joins me for the 25th edition of THE WORLD'S GREATEST PODCAST. While on a family trip to Oglebay Resort in Wheeling, WV, I hauled my podcast equipment with us so I could have one of my best friends/sister-in-law Nikki Cannon on the show. We discussed a variety of topics with most of them coming back to musicals (Rent, Wicked, and Idina Menzel mostly). Nikki also gave her opinions on the election since politics is her life and she weighed in on Hillary and managed to put a very positive spin on our President-Elect. I weighed in on a half a bottle of pinot grigio. The real MVP of this episode is her brother Christian, who delayed sleeping while we recorded this episode.
Episode #24: End Of The RoadAfter 7 seasons of constant misery, The Walking Dead may have finally worn out its welcome. Despite the Emmy worthy performance of Jeffrey Dean Morgan, I'm quickly losing interest in one of my favorite shows. And speaking of losing interest, I'm completely off the ride that is Kanye West. Dehydration and sleep deprivation my left foot. I share a tale of the time I got in trouble for my next door neighbor in high school and deal a little with #BoycottHamilton and what's going on with Cyclops in the comic books. I also get really excited about Goldberg and make it clear that I'm all about that Indiana Jones life. Even if he did take his name from the dog.
Episode #23: Baz Luhrmann Is Good But He’s No Spider-ManIn this episode of THE GREATEST PODCAST IN THE WORLD, I lighten up. I share my heartbreak with how one of my favorite professional wrestlers, Dolph Ziggler, has fallen from grace (a grace that he never truly ever had). I rant about Baz Luhrmann and his stupid ability to make me fall in and out of love with a film within 120 minutes. I answer a question about why LeBron took offense to Phil’s posse comments. I explain why Spider-Man is the best. There’s nothing else that needs to be said; he’s the best. And I wrap up with some post-election talk, Dr. Strange musings, and how my dad is built to drive a car. Surprisingly enough, I didn’t talk enough about Michael Jordan.
Episode #22: Miss Me With All ThatIn this episode of THE GREATEST PODCAST IN THE WORLD, I give you two full hours of content. I take shots at local podcast competition. I explain how I’m probably hanging up my fantasy football cleats next season, at least for a year. I give the Chicago Cubs their 108 year late due. I detail my trip home, including my father receiving a free soda and how he’s taken over a local Applebee’s without any official ownership paperwork. I pretty much sum up how everyone feels about The Voice. I shout out some of my listeners. I relive the tragedies of losing my birth mother and my adoptive mother in October and November 2015. And I wrap up with my thoughts on the 2016 Election and the forthcoming four year reign of Donald Trump. My name is Kelen Conley and I endorse the unfriend/unfollow buttons.
Episode #21: You Look Like Carlton Banks!On this episode of THE WORLD’S GREATEST PODCAST, I have a lot to say. I talk about CM Punk’s loss at UFC 203, finally. I share quick thoughts on Colin Kaepernick, finally. I tell the tale of the indecent proposal I got in my training class. I ask the big question: Did Mother Gothel actually love Rapunzel? I wonder if my time as a leader of #TeamDrake is coming to an end. I go into why I’m constantly tied to Carlton Banks. I relive how I ended up totaling Angel’s car. And I recommend a lot of things. Such as Atlanta. You really should be watching Atlanta. Paper Boi. Paper Boi. All about that paper boy.
Episode #20: Hey Girl, Do You Wanna Come Over And Watch RedZone?Hyphen Nation is almost legal to drink but I’m over here popping champagne anyway! In the 20th edition of the best podcast in the world (I was wrong in the episode, this is the 31st week of the year, making me 11 episodes behind having an episode every week of 2016), I have a lot to bring to the microphone this time out. A little Russell Westbrook talk. A little Drake and Joe Budden talk. A lot of WWE talk about Battleground, Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens, July 25th’s episode of Raw, and Sasha Banks/Charlotte. A little about how the NFL is in a constant lose/lose battle with player safety and making the game of football less fun talk. A little drug test talk. And a sincere cry for help about my inability to listen to as many podcasts that are currently on my iPod. Just like The Whispers, the beat and the podcast goes on.
Episode #19: The Greatest Gifts (Costarring Eric Jordan)In June, for the second straight season, the Golden State Warriors and the Cleveland Cavaliers faced off for the NBA Championship. After a record breaking 73 win season, the Warriors mostly dominated the first 4 games of the series to take a 3-1 lead, heading back to Oakland for Game 5. From there, the Cavaliers were able to win 3 straight, including 2 wins in Oakland to win their first NBA Championship and the first major championship for Cleveland since 1964. Since I’ve known him, Eric Jordan has always been one of the biggest Cleveland fans I know. As soon as Game 7 was over, I knew I had to get him on the show to talk about the biggest event in Cleveland sports history. The longest episode of Hyphen Nation may be the best episode of Hyphen Nation ever. This is for you Cleveland.
Episode #18: Trade Me To The Pistons; I Can't Beat ThemAfter last episode’s seriousness, I get back into the swing of the regular Hyphen Nation beat. I read about some sudden naysayers of myself and the podcast and I respond in kind. I address the tragedy of Christina Grimmie’s death. I relive an awkward conversation at work. I talk about McDonald’s again… but not how you think. Then I go in heavy on Kevin Durant, the future of my Chicago Bulls, and how I’m holding off my membership into the Minnesota Timberwolves fan club… for now. I finish things with a little WWE talk before the Battleground PPV. Still avoiding talk of the Cleveland Cavaliers. BUT IT WILL SOON HAPPEN.
Episode #17: Make Me Wanna Holla“Crime is increasing
Trigger happy policing
Panic is spreading
God knows where we're heading”
- Marvin Gaye & James Nix
Episode #16: Wifi Don't Live Here AnymoreSo your hero may be out here hunting for free wifi like a nomad but never fear, as Hyphen Nation 16 is… has arrived. Aside from avoiding obvious rhymes, there’s a lot to talk about in this episode. As I’m finally a homeowner, I explain all the details of our second move in a month as well as a harrowing tale of what my 10 year old chihuahua gave me as a housewarming gift. Then I share the sad story of my life with no wifi and the natural fear of extra data usage fees that comes with it. I talk a little about my new music video for “Rewind”, my performance on June 16, and the beginning stages of recording my next album. I also delve into a little UFC talk about Brock Lesnar and CM Punk, which comes after talk about the sad news of Kimbo Slice’s death and the impact Muhammad Ali had on myself and the world. Live from the third Kroger parking lot in Morgantown… you know what it is.
Episode #15: (Coffee From) The Grind Don't StopNot fired from the day job yet, but definitely back with a 4th episode in 2 weeks of Hyphen Nation. In this pulse pounding slobberknocker, I get into how my most recent column motivated a friend and frequent collaborator. Then I take some time out to thank Pusha T for writing “I’m Loving It” for McDonald’s before explaining how some topic ideas I have for the show just aren’t very good. I give my take on the gorilla debate and somehow segue that into a story of an incident with a fence from my childhood. After that embarrassment, I finish things off with recommendations as well as why I no longer get excited about the X-Men films. Ya boy owns a house now so you know there’s big things poppin’ and little things stoppin’. And coffee provided by The Grind here in Morgantown.
Episode #14: Too Long; Didn't Listen Or I Got Some McPicks For McDonald'sIt’s time for everyone to put on their best all white outfit and get out in the sun! Pools are open; the speedos are in full effect! Hustle to the mall and get you a short set! Yeah you got on sneaks but you need a new pair! Cause why? CAUSE BASKETBALL COURTS IN THE SUMMER GOT GIRLS THERE! Back to live action, Hyphen Nation 14 is all over the place.There’s a short discussion on the NBA Finals. I give out a great recommendation on a barber if you need one in Morgantown and a decent recommendation on a book. I discuss the house of horrors that is Maximum Carnage for SNES and Sega Genesis. I try to make some kind of point about Memorial Day but I don’t really go anywhere with it. I explain why I love the number 14. And then I border on a tirade about why I hate McDonald’s commercials. 2016 is almost over y’all, better start making New Year’s plans right away.
Episode #13: Lemonade Is A Popular Drink And It Still IsBack to back episodes? What fresh new world is this? Did the comic line reboot itself? Did Marty make the wrong move back in alternate 1985? Is anything we know actually the truth or is everything a crazy shamble of a lie? Anyway, Hyphen Nation is back and there’s lemonade to be discussed. I spend a huge chunk of time explaining why I had to go Anti-Beyoncé after the release of her new album… Lemonade. What a dumb title. I’ll tell you one thing… in the episode. After that I discuss Game 5 of the NBA Western Conference Finals and tonight’s Game 6 of the Eastern Conference Finals. I spend a little time reminiscing on my Shoe Dept. retail days and then try to explain cicadas for those of us not going through it. I even got a couple recommendations in there. So join the Anti-Beyoncé brigade (or #TeamHov), there’s only a few days left to hate Beyoncé for making music!
Episode #12: When Jessica Met Wade That One Time In SeattleIt’s raining in Morgantown again but that’s no reason not to record the next exciting episode of Hyphen Nation! Back on my solo steez, I decide to go ahead and tell the tale I was planning to write for my Jessica Jones/Deadpool series that didn’t happen at Marvel 2000 because I don’t make time for writing anymore. I take the time to address the new Captain America controversy over at the house that Stan and Jack built, then I get into a little bit of why I “no longer” buy individual issues (other than Spider-Gwen and Archie). I had a great show topic… that I forgot to write down, so instead I go with my previous topic of why these kids like all this bad music… only to realize that someone 10 years older than me when I was in my 20s probably hated my music too… yeah, I got lost too. I spend a little time discussing how important Game 5 is for Stephen Curry and the Warriors tonight and then I wrap up my recommending and reviewing Drake’s newest album Views. Always good to get some work done, even if I don’t feel like the episode is one of my best. You can always listen to the episodes with Errick again if you want...
Episode #11: Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler (Costarring Errick Greenlee)I start the episode by myself, where I try to compare Shawn Michaels and Kanye West. Then I called Errick Greenlee on Skype, where we had a short conversation about our daughters and families off podcast, then we get down to business. But what I thought would be more fantasy booking turned into an all out discussion of Captain America: Civil War, which we both saw on its opening weekend. This episode's cover image is brought to you via Errick's favorite Captain America speech, (which he feels was delivered badly by the film) which originally appeared in Amazing Spider-Man #537 for those Spider-Man haters out there. I wouldn't call this an all-inclusive review of the film but we get to a lot of it. In case you didn't notice, this episode is full of spoilers.
Episode #10: Book To The Future - 1st LP, Side A (Costarring Errick Greenlee)On the day after what may be remembered as one of the darkest days for many, I finally found time to have my first guest ever. Errick Greenlee is not just a son, brother, husband, father, or purveyor of all things nerd fresh. He's not just a writer or filmmaker. He's not just the king of the Lightning Round or his #GoingInRaw column for KillerBoomBox. Nor is he just one half of a dynamic t-shirt designing duo. In addition to that glistening resume, Errick Greenlee is a professional wrestling fan. And nothing was the same. So we start to fantasy book the WWE until SummerSlam and already, the ideas are flowing. Reigns, Styles, Rollins, Balor, Ziggler. Trust me, this is the phenomenal forearm of the fantasy booking; it's that over. Plus we take the time to talk about Chyna and Prince. And this is only the first edition in what I hope will be many more appearances but Mr. Greenlee. Hold on to your butts.
Episode #9: Knock On WoodOn a very special day, Hyphen Nation 9 is born into existence! Today’s topics include the 2nd birthday of my daughter Aaliyah (that’s the special day, take that smokers), my experiences as a “single” dad, why I’ve been so lazy creatively lately, the tough decision between my Android and becoming one of those iPhone users, and an update about those lifestyle changes I keep saying I’m going to make (the elephant scale at the Smithsonian Zoo wasn’t impressed). Plus: I predict the 2016 NBA Playoffs in their entirety. And I don’t care if you say it’s not fair to pick after they officially start. Besides, there are no surprises to be heard here. This episode is all about the positive vibes so check that negativity at the door. Or to Yankee Stadium.
Episode #8: I Feel PettyIn this episode, everybody gets it! And by that I mean that I talk about how I hold grudges (I was taught by the best) and how it feels when Seinfeld loses his Newman (it feels pretty great). I also spend some time talking about being just one of the girls (people like talking to me. It's a gift and a curse) and how I became enshrined in the Mario Kart Wii Hall of Fame (it's a real thing. You can totally look it up. You'll see a picture of my victims sad faces next to my name). I wrap things up by talking about how Steph Curry is having his moment and how I no longer lust after Little Caesar's bacon wrapped pizza. I may also be muttering under my breath at times. It was a rough week.
Episode #7: Welcome To The Disney Movie Review PodcastYou take one day off and life gets in the way. So what do you do? You wait until the next opportunity presents itself and you keep the podcast train on the tracks! Enclosed within these audio walls, I question whether I'm a bad husband, I talk about Aladdin and the Little Mermaid and my differing opinions on both (Welcome to the Disney movie review podcast!), this episode's cover girl Ronda Rousey's confession to considering suicide after she lost to Holly Holm, and getting better at writing (faster) through repetition. This episode was recorded at not just one but two Morgantown Krogers before and after a dentist appointment. Your man of the people has come back.
Episode #6: The Case of the Stale Fudge Rounds & Cherry Pop-TartsSo with the professional footballs officially put away for another season, it's time for Hyphen Nation to blossom into its final and best form! Or something like that. Contained within these audio walls, I discuss why the day after the Super Bowl should be some kind of national holiday, I compare my experiences with the OJ Simpson trial as a child with what I know today, the story of gas station snacks that spawned this episode's title, my eternal struggle with never being able to catch up on all the podcasts I like, and I end things with a small tribute to the retiring Daniel Bryan. It's still snowing in Morgantown so if you live in a warm climate, I hate you. But I'd still like you to check out this episode. And pass it along like a note in class. I don't really care if the teacher sees it.
Episode #5: Predicting The 2015 NFL Playoffs: Super Bowl 50The 50th edition of the Super Bowl is two days away. Panthers. Broncos. I make the final pick that can make or break my 2015 NFL playoff season. A win puts me above .500; a loss, under .500. More importantly, can Peyton win his second ring and tie Eli? Will he retire on top or head to LA next season? Can Cam silence his critics, at least for awhile? I'm really pumped about this game. Also in this show (because I couldn't do a 20 minute show just about the Super Bowl): Understanding what I like to eat, whether or not I'm scared of success, my candy addiction, and Go Demarcus and viral video in 2016. Recommendations: New Girl season 5, Carly Rae Jepsen - E·MO·TION, The People v. OJ Simpson, The Internet - Ego Death.
Episode #4: There Will Be No Sportball Talk WithinI take a break with the NFL and leave the predictions in my other pants pocket. In the first regular episode of Hyphen Nation, I spend time talking about how terrible I am at dealing with change, how I'm trying to use Snapchat more but Android's version won't let me be great, how I finally get Seinfeld after 32 years, and I discuss where the real problem with Frozen lies. Because I watch Frozen all... the.. time.
Episode #3: Predicting The 2015 NFL Playoffs: Championship RoundWe’re down to the final four teams in the hunt for Super Bowl 50 and I recap what happened in the Divisional Round (I went 4-0, making me 5-3 this postseason) and pick the two teams that’ll be headed to San Francisco in February. I also spend a lot of time getting distracted by all the people flying into the Kroger parking lot in search of bread and milk in preparation for Winter Storm Jonas. Considering this was the second time I recorded this episode after a headphone/microphone jack mix up the other day, it’s only right I get to watch the crazies fly in and out of the parking lot while the show rolls on. Manning v. Brady. Cam v. Palmer. On v. On. Bye v. Bye. Kathy Bates. TV networks must hate me. The not-quite Hyphen Nation podcast. All of these things are discussed in this action packed third episode. Did I mention I actually recorded this episode once? I was once told everything happens for a reason, so this reality’s Episode 3 must be better than the other Episode 3 you were going to end up with. Let’s go with that one. Only one more sportball episode to go after this one non-sports fan listeners!
Episode #2: Predicting The 2015 NFL Playoffs: Divisional RoundThe NFL Playoffs are rolling along and so is Hyphen Nation! I went 1-3 during the opening round, and it's not looking much better for this weekend as I picked all the home teams. I doubt I start the Championship Round at 5-3 but crazier miracles could happen. I also spend some time talking about other things besides sportball, so I encourage non sports fans to check out this episode as well. There's lot of updates on my current projects and the future plans for the show and my latest plan to be healthier. I told you this is more than just a sports podcast. There's also a few errors, so a certified No-Prize to anyone who catches them!
Episode #1: Predicting the 2015 NFL Playoffs: Wild Card RoundThis is not a test. This is the actual real live Episode #1 of Hyphen Nation. There may have been an episode called the 25 Biggie Commandments floating around in March but ignore that (it's Victory Jumpoff Radio #14 if you must know). This is the real deal. No clones. Not a dream. Not a hoax. The 2015 NFL Playoffs are upon us, the Wild Card round to be exact. I take a shot at predicting all 4 Wild Card games... and maybe even predict a sleeper Super Bowl winner. It's all live from the car on a 45 minute lunch break. That's how dedicated I am to the people. Gave up my lunch break... to give you the first episode of Hyphen Nation. Don't let it be for nothing.