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My Boss's Free Haircut

My Boss's Free Haircut

I spent 10 years focusing on music. Writing rhymes, making songs, crafting several mixtapes, until eventually, my debut album Soon You’ll Understand was released in March of 2014. If you’ve made it this far into the site, you’ve surely noticed the album on the front page, available for free download right now. But before I started recording music in earnest in 2004, I had another hobby. I was a writer for two sites, Marvel & DC Anthology, sites I started in 2000 and 2001 respectively shortly after I discovered fanfiction.

I only started the sites because all the fanfiction sites I ran across already had titles I wanted to write taken and every idea I tried to propose for a series got shot down. It was for the best because looking back now… I wasn’t a very good writer. Hell, I’m still not a very good writer. But I soon met Erik Fromme and Clayton Tooley when they applied for my sites and until a month or so ago, both sites were running strong. They even came to my wedding. But I’ll set that story aside for when I write the RIP piece for MA/DCA on the main site.

The plan was when I stopped making music with SYU (sidebar: I’m not quitting. Hoping to return with my next album in the next 18 months or so), the plan was to join some of my former fellow fanfiction writers and just write as my hobby. Be a dad and husband and son and write that novel I’ve had notes on for a long time and write for this site and Tricycle Offense.

The problem is that I procrastinate when it comes to writing. On the homie Derrick Ferguson’s Facebook group, he’s constantly posting things about how you can’t call yourself a writer if you don’t write. Just write. Write write write. WRITE. And I don’t. I decide to move the whole site from Blogger to Wordpress. I decide to redesign the Podcasts subdomain and bring back the Writing subdomain. I think it’s a good idea to play a few games on my PS3. Or I spend time catching up on my DVR or rewatching some sitcom rerun I’ve seen over a dozen times. Meanwhile, Derrick, Percival Constantine, Mark Bousquet, podcasting partner Thomas Deja, among others are logging huge word counts and getting another one of their works into the world.

I feel like I’m a good writer. I feel like I have some good stories to tell. Considering it’s been 12 years since I’ve written regularly, you would think that creative muscle would desperately need stretched out. Even these 4 and a half paragraphs have flown by and I’m just bullshitting my way through this so I have an intro for when you come into my Writing Archives and a new blog post. So really it comes back to my favorite TV show of all time, Scrubs and one Dr. Robert Kelso:
Dr. Kelso: You are going to shut your damn yapper and listen for a change, because I got you pegged, sweetheart. You want to take the easy way out with the surgery because you're scared. You're scared because if you try and fail, there's only you to blame. Well, Missy, let me break this down for you, Bobbo-style. Life is scary. Get used to it.
J.D.: [Narration] And then it seemed like Dr. Kelso wasn't only talking to her.
Dr. Kelso: There are no magical fixes. It's all up to you. So get up off your keister, get out of here, and go start doin' the work.
Nell Goldman: What if it's too hard?
Dr. Christopher Turk: Yeah, what if it's too hard?
Dr. Kelso: Turkleton, I have no idea why you're chiming in, but I'll say this to both of you. Nothing in this world that's worth having comes easy.

I always have a ton of ideas that I want to write about. I still have the aforementioned novel in my head. I still want to write that Deadpool/Alias series I never got off the ground at MA. I still want to tie up my Robin plot threads from years ago. With my ability to record shut down to almost nothing with my current living situation (all the recording equipment is in a box, not enough space), now is the perfect time to start “doing the work”.

This archive contains all my previous fanfiction work, my Promos By Hyphen columns, and every column/article (I can never decide what to call them) I wrote for Tricycle Offense and BDL Sports from 2011 to 2014. Everything else is located on the blog.

In a perfect example of my procrastination problem, I sat down at the computer to finish this piece about an hour ago. What have I been doing besides writing? Facebook, Twitter, email, updating my t-shirt wish list on WWE Shop, Tumblr, downloading a cover of “Trap Queen” by Lexi Atkins, drinking a Blue Moon, and watching the end of Monday Night Raw and now Tough Enough. A true writer would have taken advantage of being the last person awake in his house to pound out a couple thousand words. And that’s the work I need to start doing if I’m going to get anywhere with this next goal.

So welcome and I ask anyone who reads this to do me a favor: If you visit the site again soon or we’re friends and you don’t see some form of new content in one form or another, go to the contact page, pick an option, and get on my case about it. Or leave a comment about it. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Fingers crossed, I’ll get my act together soon and start churning out regular content again. The Walking Dead comes back in October which means new Talking Out The Dead with Thomas. Hell, depending on how things go, we may even do a few things for Fear The Walking Dead.

I just hope that in the near future, that when I call myself a writer, I’ll have the writing to finally back up that claim. Because really, the ultimate goal is to replace Craig Wilson in USA Today writing “The Last Word” in the Life section on Thursdays. I think teenage Kelen would like that.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a 15 month old who will probably be awake in a few hours with a wet diaper and want changed. And rocked back to sleep. I have no idea how she got to be so needy. So I’ll really end it here this time and grab as much sleep as I can before that happens. She could surprise me though and sleep through the night, but only because she was tearing through the house like the Flash most of the evening. But anyway, enough with my ramblings for the night. Thanks for listening.

Comments

  1. BEen at it 11 years myself, still no project release. Prob written 4 tapes/albums but not able release one yet, and just had another set back. Hoping to get it together before this year is over

    ReplyDelete
  2. Pick up Chris Fox's 5000 Words Per Hour. Follow the steps in there. You don't have to actually write 5k per hour but it will help you get some consistency.

    Use a program like Antisocial to block distracting websites.

    More than that just pick one project to focus on. When it's done, pick another. And another.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Justin Umstead29 July, 2015

    I really enjoy your writing! I think it's hard for most people to sit down and write things all at one time - I know it is for me. What I like to do is gather my thoughts in Evernote over a span of months and expand on my ideas until I have enough to put together a post or book. Most of the time I need to cut the blog post down so it isn't too long.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I just need to pick one thing and go and I haven't even done that. Once I actually take that step I think I'll be able to make solid progress.

    ReplyDelete
  5. And thank you for the compliment!

    ReplyDelete

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