01 July 2014

Promos By Hyphen: Is This The End?


Sorry I haven’t written. I started my annual WWE Year End Awards column but it’s sat unfinished for a month or so. I hope to have it done before next month’s Battleground PPV. But what I’m really here for is to not complain about a man I once praised, but the product in general.

Before the SummerSlam poster leaked, all signs pointed to John Cena scaling the ladder and winning the WWE World Heavyweight Title again. And this is my problem: the signs are too obvious anymore. Let’s look at the participants in the Title match:

  • Kane – He’s been around for years, too old to be champ, not beat up enough to quit. He does The Authority’s evil bidding. He won’t win.
  • Sheamus – He’s starting to get years on him too but he hasn’t had anything interesting going on since he beat Daniel Bryan in 18 seconds. Nope.
  • ADR – Hasn’t held the WWE Title since Punk took it off of him three years ago and only got a World Title run last year because Dolph got a concussion. Nope.
  • Cesaro – Has been over for months but now that he’s with Heyman, he’s still getting cheers and not heat. Nope.
  • Bray – Way over with the crowd. Deserves a heel run with the Title; won’t get it.
  • Reigns – Way over backstage/with the crowd most times. Deserves a fair shot at the Title; this ain’t it.
  • Orton – Gave up the Title just 2 months ago. Would be the most likely winner out of the heels.
  • Cena – Hasn’t held a Title since December, hasn’t held the WWE Title since August. Will win unless Creative has the balls to do something different and put Bray or Roman over.

And herein lies the problem: Creative never does anything different. Different would’ve been The Shield breaking up during Payback or Extreme Rules, not on Raw. Different would’ve seen Rollins replacing Batista in Evolution, not simply joining The Authority. Different would’ve been Bray beating Cena without the help of a little kid. Different would’ve been Daniel Bryan winning the Rumble. Different would’ve been Dean Ambrose winning the Money In The Bank briefcase. Different would have me still wanting to watch week in and week out.

There were no swerves last night. There was great wrestling but no surprises. Even a great MITB match had to be ruined because one of the other 4 competitors couldn’t have gotten involved to screw Ambrose. Nope. Creative wanted Kane to do it. And what did Kane’s involvement do for Ambrose and Rollins? Make them look weak.

There was a perfect opportunity to push Luke Harper and Erick Rowan over as Tag Champs. The Usos retained. Paige retained clean. Nothing was done with Cameron to push her heel turn. Layla beat Summer Rae clean. There’s little to no reason to continue their feud other than “just because”.

And don’t get me started on Stardust. Cody was as over as he could be after he and Goldust kept their jobs last fall. What did they get? A Tag Title run that ended with a loss to the New Age Outlaws. Yeah. So dressing Cody up exactly like his brother is the answer?

The Shield break up has been handled terribly. Roman got put into the title picture while Ambrose and Rollins get to beat on each other. Nothing was put in the place for Roman’s next feud last night.

The commentary has become boring. Cole, King, and JBL sound like parrots as none of them have any personalities anymore.

Oh, and Rusev beat Big E. Rusev looked weak for the first time but Big E didn’t do anymore damage to him than Reigns did in the Raw battle royal a few weeks ago.

I could go on, but I don’t want to waste the words. I should have stopped after Mania XXX, but I just couldn’t let go. Being locked into the Network for 6 months is a huge part of it but I plan on canceling the moment I’m able. It’s an amazing service and I’ll get what I can for the last few months but the main product isn’t worthy of my money anymore.

The main reason I became a full time fan again is gone in CM Punk.

The most exciting stuff in the company seems to be happening in NXT, because they can get away with more and the fact that it’s a true developmental entity.

I don’t Bo-Lieve. I’m not a Rosebud. I’m not part of the Yes Movement, even as much as Bryan deserved his run up to WrestleMania. Dolph is too injury prone to get a push anymore.

I’m too old for the Cenation. The Randy Orton I liked isn’t coming back. I won’t…no, can’t go through this revolving door with the WWE anymore.

Sting’s signed! He’s not signed! It’s done! It’s not! Stop it.

My Monday nights will be freed up. I’ll still see the news come across my timelines and through text messages to my phone but I’ll brush off most things as I do now: with a giant sigh of boredom.

I wish World Wrestling Entertainment the best in their future endeavors. But today is my day to walk out on the company. And just like a certain Chicago native, my departure will be ignored and the things that are deemed best for business will continue. But I’m not the target demographic anyway.

I just won’t sit glued to the television as nothing new happens over and over again. As a great, great man once said, “I’m too old for this shit.”

And now, having finished this thought, watch Punk show up tonight.

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